Ellie, I used the word............. disconnected when I was talking to your mom today. I really got some revelation to that. I lived with disconnected parents, and they did not teach their children to connect in love and faith. Come to think of it now, I finally realized after all the therapy, counseling, and anonymous meetings that Michael and I were involved with it never helped. He was raised in a disconnected family too. That was our bond in a way, the superficial connection, and the flesh connection, no spirit and truth connection. That's what deep down inside I really knew even as a sinner but didn't know how to discern what I sensed was wrong. Michaels own brother being a famous sex offender counselor, yet he was totally disconnected from his own brother. No openness, honesty, no bread of sincerity and truth........ being able to be deep and share the deep things of the heart with God and each other. I being raised religious "read" to God. The first time I ever got deep, honest, or sincere was the time I told the Lord that he had put Michael in my life to destroy me. But through the years he showed me how the "wind" of wrong spirits had led me into his arms.
I was listening to Gene talk today about being led by the spirit. And how sailors in days of old if they got stuck in the sea without wind they were dead in the water. That's why being "led" by the RIGHT SPIRIT IS SOOOOOOOO important. The devil is right there to lead us to destruction when we are led by the wrong spirit...... us and our children.
Your grandparents were disconnected.... God's love, true faith, humility, "the bread of sincerity and truth", the common cup of Christ... they all drank that same spiritual drink..... is what connects us. My parents went to 2 different kinds of churches, (my mom and step-father) who adopted me. Only there was no adoption spiritually, no connection. Not until right before he died and was very humble and sorry, but it was too late then, his life was over. There was a brief connection for a moment in time and he was gone. Your mother and father were "disconnected" their whole marriage. It's been all your mother can do to not run off, and learn how to connect to others in a right spirit, because she has never had that in her life before. Never been familied (new familiars) in honesty, sincerity, love, humility. It's a total miracle she hasn't run off, it's been very difficult, but really where can any of us run from love. She has tried to live with us like she lived with Dan, and it hasn't gone well, but it's been the "operation of God" to build her up as a new woman.
So many "connect" for the wrong reason, the wrong spirit. The spirits of pity, deceit, lust, fear......... etc. get married, with the states permission. But it's what "God" has put together no man can cut in half. Nothing can be done against a marriage where 2 people walk in the light, have fellowship with the Lord and each other.....NOTHING CAN BE DONE, THAT'S THE HOUSE BUILT ON THE ROCK that Jesus was referring to!
I heard about a young girl who left the fellowship, so did her mom, and the girl is pregnant now. She connected to a guy for sex, out of need, out of pity and worldliness... but it was all carnal, superficial, no real spiritual connection. Both she and her mom know the only time they were even close to feeling connected to God and man was when they were with us, and we all strove to connect to them. We were deep crying unto them, and they loved their walls, would not let anyone in. She even admitted she couldn't connect because she was a lying hider. Like her mom, that's how her mom lived all her life in every relationship, and it's the "old woman" and life she wouldn't lay down. The sorrow is........ men, women still LOVE darkness more than light and won't come into the light...... don't dare be honest with God or man about what they really think or feel, because they live to get their needs met and are a law unto themselves.
Her daughter even told her she see's her mom like the woman in what's eating Gilbert Grape. The only relationship she has ever had is where other people were trying to graft into her, that loved her for who she was. Again, pride, lying, hiding, you can never "know" people like that, and they won't let themselves be "known".
That's the curse your Mom wants to see broken. The curse she lived in with your dad, a house divided that can't stand. Even your grandparents house was divided and did not stand in a right spirit, a free spirit. (I told your mom that recently the most PRECIOUS COMMODITY ANY OF US HAVE TO GIVE IS OURSELVES). The Lord says, "give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways." I was so pretentious, deceitful, trying hard to fit into some religious mold, it took me years to even know the difference of who I thought I was supposed to be and who I really was. I had to give the Lord the rocks in my soul, so He could begin giving me a heart of flesh for my heart of stone (lies I believed about Him and untruth that my mind was not washed from.) One of the hardest things I have done in life now is getting good little religious girls to tell the truth, so the Lord can help them.
The devil does all he can to DIVIDE each day. That's his "war" strategy, divide and conquer. These emails have been good for me too. I was telling Gene tonight that I have felt the presence of a demonic spirit following me all my life. That spirit of destruction with food that is even lurking in the darkness. Just bringing my darkness into the light with him, helps me SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS......... a toothless monster, a lion without teeth, that has no power other than what I give it. It's like that old TV show where the devil is locked up and the monks make sure he stays that way and the man comes and lets him out. Well, I think when we fight for unity and open up our inner demons to people with answers, THE DEVIL LOSES HIS POWER OVER US. Old things do keep passing away, all things do become new. We can press on to know Him, yesterday is gone, and we have a good hope to look forward to in Him. The fruit of the Spirit is SELF CONTROL, and saying no to the flesh, is LIFE, PEACE, JOY...... and THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.
Anyway, I pray that DEEP IN YOU CRIES TO DEEP in all your relationships....... The Lord has given you a good man who you can be vulnerable and deep with who want's to cover you. Many women are married to men who are hidden and deceitful..... "THE FATHERLESS" in the kingdom. That's a whole other issue I read about today. God has put father's in His body. Real men of God who can read our mail, know where we are at, speak to the deep things in our lives. What a true father should be. I was telling Malachi when he was here the other day that even little boys need MEN OF GOD, FATHERS who understand BOY problems. PROBLEMS GIRLS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I just thank God everyday FOR A MAN OF GOD THAT KNOWS WHAT LITTLE BOYS HAVE TO DEAL WITH IN LIFE, AND HAVE ANSWERS FOR THE STRUGGLES of lust, covetousness, pride, lying etc. Gene could "touch" my children's sins. He GAVE HIMSELF to Dan..... He gives Himself to the guys, and they have a man of God they can get God's instruction from FOR THE DEEP ISSUES OF LIFE THAT COME FROM THEIR HEART. The demons in the closet most men DON'T talk about, won't talk about, or God has never led them to true FATHER OF THE FAITH that God has sent on the earth, TO FEED HIS CHILDREN WITH UNDERSTANDING!
The way a teenager treats a mother, grandmother etc. is EXACTLY HOW SHE WILL TREAT A MAN THAT COMES INTO HER LIFE. I kept trying to tell one of the teenagers in my life years ago, be careful how you treat adults you are SOWING INTO YOUR FUTURE.... and oh how I have seen my words come to pass for those teenagers who LISTENED and those WHO DIDN'T. Even when a teenager sows to the wind, blames others they still will inherit the whirlwind WITHOUT SOME GODLY PERSON IN THEIR LIFE TO HELP THEM COUNT THE COST, and consider their ways. That's where US BEING ABLE TO COUNT THE COST AND HOW MUCH WE PAID FOR BEING LED BY THE WRONG SPIRIT, is how we OVERCOME Satan in the lives of others. I know several teenagers who took heed to my testimony. Listened to how much it cost me to be led by the wrong spirit and decided not to build a house on the sand BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY HEARD. That's what the bible is........ stories about REBELS and those who LISTENED TO GOD'S VOICE, and how much THEY PAID!!!!!
There is nothing that can be done against love. And don't be afraid or intimidated by spirits that try and shut you up. (I told your mom she has used every spirit in the book to get us to back off)...... and we used wrong spirits too to fight the battle of life... so we aren't threatened when she does, we have only helped her think about the cost. THE LORD WINS THE GAME IN THE END........ love conquers death and hell.
I had a great illustration I talked to your mom about boxing. We don't want to beat the air..... use the wrong weapons or hit below the belt and be disqualified. We want to learn how to deliver the punch of the spirit and hang in the 15 rounds, and not let the devil steal the glory........... the Lord shall be glorified. "Can the eye say to the hand, I have no need of you?" Other's can teach us "what not to do too". And we can all learn more about how to wash people's feet, take the twig out of their eye etc. And we can relate to Jesus better when we are sinned against, we can fellowship His suffering in how HE FELT WHEN WE WERE SINNING!!! Like so many Christians, myself included for a long time, I wanted the gifts, but didn't want to know the giver of the gifts. Their are many people who love and use people for "gifts", but they don't care about really knowing the GIVER. That's what the spirit is trying to teach you Mom, others..... stop just going after what God can give you, get to know Him who is the word made flesh, and dwells among those who feed others His WORD. "Let me know you, and let yourself be known by others."
Love, Ceci
Psa 133:1 A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant [it is] For brethren to dwell together in unity! That's where THE ANOINTING IS.... WHERE GOD COMMANDS HIS BLESSING!!!! THAT'S WHAT WE NEED TO FIGHT FOR!!!!
Eph 4:3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Eph 4:13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
OUR FATHERS
Our Fathers...
Our Father who art in Heaven...Matthew 6:9, Luke 11:2.
This is the beginning of the Lord's Prayer.
Adam became the "Father of the Human Race" in Genesis 4:1-2,25.
GOD spoke directly to Adam in Genesis 2:16-17, and in many other verses.
Noah, the Father of three sons, Genesis 6:10, his wife and his sons wives, were all that was left of the human race after the great flood, Genesis 7:23.
GOD spoke directly to Noah in Genesis 6:13-14, and in many other verses.
Our Father Abraham: Luke 1:73,3:8, John 8:39,53, Acts 7:2, Romans 4:1,12, James 2:21. He became the "Father of a Multitude of Nations" in Genesis 17:5.
GOD spoke directly to Abraham in Genesis 17:1-22, and in many other verses.
Our Father Isaac...Romans 9:10
GOD spoke directly to Isaac in Genesis 26:2-5, and in many other verses.
Our Father Jacob...John 4:12. He became the "Father of Israel" in Genesis 32:29, and he had twelve sons who became the "Father Figures" of each of the twelve tribes of Israel, Exodus 29-49.
GOD spoke directly to Jacob in Genesis 35:1, and in many other verses.
Moses was the "Father Figure" for GOD's chosen people, the one who would lead them out of the bondage of Egypt. Exodus 1 to Deut 34.
GOD Spoke directly to Moses from the Burning Bush in Exodus 3:4-10, and in many other verses.
Our Father David...Mark 11:10, who was both King, 2Sam 6:16, and Priest, 2Sam 6:18, foreshadowed Jesus Christ who is both King and High Priest in the New Testament.
GOD spoke directly to David in 2Samuel 2:1 and in many other verses.
"Thus said the Lord, the GOD of David thy Father...", 2Kings 20:5
"He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 16:15-17
In these verses it is shown that GOD had spoken through His "Father Figure", Peter, and Peter only, revealing the truth to him. Why then do some say that GOD does not speak today through His "Father Figure" on earth? There have and always will be THE FATHER'S OF THE FAITH! Where would mankind be without fathers? Who is the devil after? The land always perished when the father figures did not take their rightful place.
"Father figures", are all throughout Holy Scripture.
You can readily see that GOD always provided a "Father Figure" on earth to shepherd His people.
GOD is the invisible head of His people, and His "Father Figure" is the visible head.
It is no different today.
GOD is the same yesterday, today and forever. The truth never changes. Since GOD is infinite truth, how then could He possibly change, since any change would then imply a defect in the truth?
Consequently, GOD does provide us with a visible head on earth today, a shepherd to lead His people just as He always has done, a present day "Father Figure".
Since I have shown that GOD spoke directly to His Old Testament "Father Figures", who is there to deny that GOD does likewise to His present day speak through men of God?
Holy Scripture clearly has said that the Holy Spirit will speak, and the things to come He will declare to you, John 16:13. To whom will the Holy Spirit speak? To whom did GOD speak to directly in the Old Testament?
When the Holy Spirit speaks, it is the Holy Trinity speaking. The Father is the Speaker. The Son is the Word. The Holy Spirit is the Breath.
Isaiah 22:20-24, "And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will call my servant Eliakim, the son of Helcias, and I will clothe him with thy robe, and will strengthen him with thy girdle, and will give thy power into his hand: and he shall be as a Father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to the house of Judah. And I will lay the KEY of the House of David upon his shoulder; and he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open. And I will fasten him as a peg in a sure place, and he shall be for a throne of glory to the house of his Father. And they shall hang upon him all the glory of his Father's house, diverse kinds of vessels, every little vessel, from the vessels of cups to every instrument of music."
The House of David prefigures or "Types" the Church in many verses in addition to those given above from Isaiah. See 2Samuel 3:1, 5:11, 6:21, 7:26, 1Kings 5:5, 8:16-20, 12:19-20,
2Kings 17:21, 20:5, Psalms 122:5, Zechariah 12:7-11, 13:1, and Luke 1:68-69.
The KEY is the symbol of authority as shown in Isaiah 22. The KEYS of authority were given by Jesus Christ to and he gave it to men.
"And I will give thee the KEYS of the Kingdom of Heaven; and whatever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."
Matthew 16:19.
When you "smite" the Shepherd the sheep will scatter. Please pray for men of God. The spirit moans and travails for the men of God to come forth. Without authority, good Shepherds who feed the sheep with understanding, the devil reeks havoc. The Psalm says, the rebellious dwell alone, but God put those really looking to Him in families, families with a Father. And when homo-sexulatiy runs rampant in History (and men become women).... the country has been cursed. That's what is happening today. Pray, that God will raise up FATHERS, to feed His sheep......... "help Lord, help Lord for the Godly man ceases."
Our Father who art in Heaven...Matthew 6:9, Luke 11:2.
This is the beginning of the Lord's Prayer.
Adam became the "Father of the Human Race" in Genesis 4:1-2,25.
GOD spoke directly to Adam in Genesis 2:16-17, and in many other verses.
Noah, the Father of three sons, Genesis 6:10, his wife and his sons wives, were all that was left of the human race after the great flood, Genesis 7:23.
GOD spoke directly to Noah in Genesis 6:13-14, and in many other verses.
Our Father Abraham: Luke 1:73,3:8, John 8:39,53, Acts 7:2, Romans 4:1,12, James 2:21. He became the "Father of a Multitude of Nations" in Genesis 17:5.
GOD spoke directly to Abraham in Genesis 17:1-22, and in many other verses.
Our Father Isaac...Romans 9:10
GOD spoke directly to Isaac in Genesis 26:2-5, and in many other verses.
Our Father Jacob...John 4:12. He became the "Father of Israel" in Genesis 32:29, and he had twelve sons who became the "Father Figures" of each of the twelve tribes of Israel, Exodus 29-49.
GOD spoke directly to Jacob in Genesis 35:1, and in many other verses.
Moses was the "Father Figure" for GOD's chosen people, the one who would lead them out of the bondage of Egypt. Exodus 1 to Deut 34.
GOD Spoke directly to Moses from the Burning Bush in Exodus 3:4-10, and in many other verses.
Our Father David...Mark 11:10, who was both King, 2Sam 6:16, and Priest, 2Sam 6:18, foreshadowed Jesus Christ who is both King and High Priest in the New Testament.
GOD spoke directly to David in 2Samuel 2:1 and in many other verses.
"Thus said the Lord, the GOD of David thy Father...", 2Kings 20:5
"He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 16:15-17
In these verses it is shown that GOD had spoken through His "Father Figure", Peter, and Peter only, revealing the truth to him. Why then do some say that GOD does not speak today through His "Father Figure" on earth? There have and always will be THE FATHER'S OF THE FAITH! Where would mankind be without fathers? Who is the devil after? The land always perished when the father figures did not take their rightful place.
"Father figures", are all throughout Holy Scripture.
You can readily see that GOD always provided a "Father Figure" on earth to shepherd His people.
GOD is the invisible head of His people, and His "Father Figure" is the visible head.
It is no different today.
GOD is the same yesterday, today and forever. The truth never changes. Since GOD is infinite truth, how then could He possibly change, since any change would then imply a defect in the truth?
Consequently, GOD does provide us with a visible head on earth today, a shepherd to lead His people just as He always has done, a present day "Father Figure".
Since I have shown that GOD spoke directly to His Old Testament "Father Figures", who is there to deny that GOD does likewise to His present day speak through men of God?
Holy Scripture clearly has said that the Holy Spirit will speak, and the things to come He will declare to you, John 16:13. To whom will the Holy Spirit speak? To whom did GOD speak to directly in the Old Testament?
When the Holy Spirit speaks, it is the Holy Trinity speaking. The Father is the Speaker. The Son is the Word. The Holy Spirit is the Breath.
Isaiah 22:20-24, "And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will call my servant Eliakim, the son of Helcias, and I will clothe him with thy robe, and will strengthen him with thy girdle, and will give thy power into his hand: and he shall be as a Father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to the house of Judah. And I will lay the KEY of the House of David upon his shoulder; and he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open. And I will fasten him as a peg in a sure place, and he shall be for a throne of glory to the house of his Father. And they shall hang upon him all the glory of his Father's house, diverse kinds of vessels, every little vessel, from the vessels of cups to every instrument of music."
The House of David prefigures or "Types" the Church in many verses in addition to those given above from Isaiah. See 2Samuel 3:1, 5:11, 6:21, 7:26, 1Kings 5:5, 8:16-20, 12:19-20,
2Kings 17:21, 20:5, Psalms 122:5, Zechariah 12:7-11, 13:1, and Luke 1:68-69.
The KEY is the symbol of authority as shown in Isaiah 22. The KEYS of authority were given by Jesus Christ to and he gave it to men.
"And I will give thee the KEYS of the Kingdom of Heaven; and whatever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."
Matthew 16:19.
When you "smite" the Shepherd the sheep will scatter. Please pray for men of God. The spirit moans and travails for the men of God to come forth. Without authority, good Shepherds who feed the sheep with understanding, the devil reeks havoc. The Psalm says, the rebellious dwell alone, but God put those really looking to Him in families, families with a Father. And when homo-sexulatiy runs rampant in History (and men become women).... the country has been cursed. That's what is happening today. Pray, that God will raise up FATHERS, to feed His sheep......... "help Lord, help Lord for the Godly man ceases."
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
To Find your life or to lose it, that is the question!
Hi Ceci, I wrote this letter to Bonnie. Would you please read through it and send it on if it is appropriate? Thank you. I'll write again soon. Been up at the hospital all today and all day tomorrow. This is all I have time for. I love you and sleep well. Debbie
Debbie, I did make one comment below in red, and I'm going to post this outstanding letter of confession..... You are ordering your conversation aright and you will see the salvation of God...... that's what Mary did!!!! I remembered back on a time when I realized I never jumped over the fence of REALLY, REALLY wanting to do God's will. Hardships, trouble, all hell breaking loose, was a big benefit to REALLY wanting to jump the fence, which is what your letter is all about! IT'S OUTSTANDING, exciting, and I'm sure the Angles in heaven are rejoicing, and I pray that you are a blessing to every life you touch! We all have to come to the end of playing games with ourselves and our true inner motives. Love, Ceci
Hi Bonnie, Debbie here. Reading through your letter reminded me of a scripture that Gene gave me about a year before I left. It could have saved my life then. But, thank God He has given me chance after chance to pick things up that were not important to me at the time. It is Psalm 4:4. It says, "commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still". What Gene was trying to tell me was to be honest with myself about who I really was....commune with myself.
Then it says to be still. Stop trying to clean up the ouside of the cup, as Ceci always says. Stop doing all kinds of works to hide my shame and to try and put myself forth as someone who loved the Lord. I didn't love the Lord. I didn't care about His people. I just wanted to get my needs met, and if it meant ignoring who I really was and lying about it I was going to do that. Sadly, it caused everyone around me a lot of heartache, though. They could see who I was trying so hard to hide. So, I had to put up a fight to defend myself all of the time. I was always hiding. I didn't want to tell myself that truth, and I didn't want to give anyone else the opportunity to do so either. So, I hid from everyone. I wasn't going to take a chance on being found out. Talk about the emporer with no clothes on!!! I get it now. But, I sure thought that I was doing a good job of hiding then. If I did admit to any truth it was only because I felt like God was requiring a sacrifice from me.
I was really struck by what Linda wrote that Bob had said concerning the mens' meeting.....If Jesus stood in our midst would we start apologizing for everything our conscience condemned us in or would we just fall on our face in loving adoration and worship. I have been thinking about that a lot. That is SO deep. That is what happened to me in almost every meeting. Jesus would show up and I would start confessing everything that my conscience condemned me for. And, there was a lot, because I didn't bring anyhting to the light for help. I didn't do that because what I was hiding was that I didn't want to be a christian. I just wanted to be married and left alone to consume my husband. So, I became more and more sick because of the pretense I went to the meetings in.
The scripture asks the question about why are so many sick and weak and some sleep. Then it gives the answer....because we partake of the blood of Jesus unworthily. I was unworthy because I had no real intention of loving and serving Jesus and His people. I just wanted my husband to think good of me, so I went to meetings and pretended to be a christian.
Linda tried to talk to me about this also. But, again, I thought that she was wrong and that she was just nitpicking at me. I thought this all most all of the time and it nearly destroyed me. Not to mention the strain that she had to live with. What kind of person would I have been if I had listened and sincerely turned? What would my marriage have been like? How much heartache could I have spared so many people from? What a tragedy!!!!
Jesus would come in our midst in a meeting and I would feel compelled to give some apology for my life because I never did what Psalm 4 said. I would not lay on my bed and commune with my own heart. I spent all of my time protecting myself and my hidden agenda to consume Joe. I had no intention of living my life for Jesus and His cause. But, because I confessed my sins all of the time I decieved myself to think that I did. I would shame myself and others just about every time that I talked. It was my sacrifice for the fact that I was living my life to please me and not Jesus. It was my guilt offering.
Everything that I thought that I had overcome came back on me and more. It reminds me of the man that had been delivered from spirits but didn't fill his house. It says that the latter state of this man was worse than the first. That was me. I became more and more the way that I had been before I ever got saved. Which was being very wanton, accusing God of being cruel, not willing to meet my needs, looking to consume man and accuse and hate anyone who confonted me about it. I was pretty much given over to all of the familiars that the Lord had tried to deliver me from.
But, the Holy Spirit, through Gene had given me the answer. Psalm 4:4. I didn't take it as a pill to save my life. Look what happened. I kept hiding and lying about my condition and my whole life fell out from under me. The Lord made the way for me to come here where the only option is to commune with my own heart. There is no one else to blame. No one to try and suck the life out of. It is just me.
God had men set up cities of refuge in the old testemant. These cities were for men that had death sentences on them. They could go to cities of refuge and live there free from the threat of the death sentence. As long as they stayed in thise cities they were protected. That is sort of what the Lord did for me. I had a death sentence on me. So, the Lord opened the way for me to come here. This has been my city of refuge. It has not been pleasant here. I have been lonely and heart broken. But, it has been a time for me to commune with my own heart and get honest with myself. The difference is that I am not doomed to the city of refuge. I have come here and have been being freed by doing Psalm 4:4.
I have realized that there is no longer a death sentence on my life because of Jesus. Not just that He died for my sins, but because I have come to the place where I should have been all along...where every Christian should be...where we have all prayed to be so many times...and that is ...not my will, but Thine, Lord be done... Be it done unto me according to Thy will, oh Lord. That has taken the death sentence off of my head.
Had I been willing to do that there I would still have my marriage. Going back even farther...my sons would be serving the Lord because I would have been able to guide them. I would have been able to help them find the way to get the death sentence off of thier lives. OH, how my life would have been different if when I became a christian I would have really became a christian and signed "the contract", as we have heard Gene say so many times.
Ceci used to always tell me that I was my own sacrifice for my sins. That I put myself up on the cross instead of looking to Jesus as the one that paid my death sentence. I had to make my own sacrifices of guilt laden, shameful confessions because I was the Lord of my life. I had no real intention of changing after making these confessions. I made them merely out of guilt. I wasn't really sorry.
Linda used to talk to me about godly sorrow versus worldly sorrow. I was so sure that she was wrong about me having only worldly sorrow, not a sorrow that is sad because I hurt Jesus. I was so decieved. Maybe it was because I would not hear her that I became more and more blind. I thought I knew. After all, I was the lord of my kingdom and heart. I knew me, she didn't. I was so wrong!!!
So, week after week I would burden myself with the worries of going to another meeting and having to shame myself with another confession to ease my guilty conscience. Having to sacrifice for my own sins because I had no sacrifice from Jesus to cover me. The word says that if we do despite to the grace of God there is no longer a sacrifice for our sins. I had done despite over and over again by refusing to give my life up to the one that did die for my sins. I wanted only my own pleasure.
Now, I know that Jesus can be the sacrifice beause I am trying to die daily into His will, not mine. I am not saying that I don't struggle with different desires and different hopes, but I want very much to do things His way. I am actually afraid not to. Maybe that is what the "fear of the Lord" is. A fear that I could choose to do things my own way again. I hope and pray that the next meeting that I am in and Jesus shows up, I will be found praising, worshipping and thanking Him for His sacrifice of His life for mine. I hope that I am not found saying I am sorry for all of the things that I am still Lord of in my life. I hope that I can be found in surrender. I think that that is the key to life. Being willing to surrender my throne and my authority. I think there is a scripture that says we must lose our life to find it. (Yes there is Debbie, and it also says if you try and save your life you will lose it! That's why you couldn't help the other women in your life that were trying to save their lives..... all along, from the day that Dawn walked into your life. That's what I'm seeing, when you lose your life and receive the ones God sends it builds you up, so you are not destroyed, but the carnal man thinks just the opposite!)
I will add, that even though it has been hard for me here to be alone with my regrets, in some strange way it has been a good time. I have come to know that God is good, and what He says about carrying us through many trials is true. I used to think that He was a respecter of persons. He turned Cecis' mourning into dancing, but He wouldn't mine. How wrong I was!!! I have a favorite song that Robin Mark sings that says, "He raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the ashes". That is what He has done for me here. He has carried me through. All the Psalms are true after all!
But, I had to realize the death sentence on me. I had to come here. It was not Gods' divine will for my life to end up like this. But, even in the world there is a saying that says, "drastic times call for drastic measures".
One more thing....I was sure a short time into my time here I was ready to go back to Montana. I had learned all that I needed to learn and I was ready to be released from my city of refuge. I was sure that I had been rehabilitated enough. After a couple of emails with Gene and Ceci I realized that I wasn't "rehabilitated" at all. I was ready to go back and try and suck the life out of Joe once again. Now I only pray two things concerning my future..."Thy will be done, Lord" and "be it done unto me according to Thy will, oh Lord". I have come to realize that He sees the big picture and He knows what is best for me. All I see is what is in front of me based on desire and emotion. The way I figure it is that I have never been able to choose wisely.
I was thinking about Esther the other night. She did not give the eunich all of her desires when asked what she wanted to have before seeing the king. She let the eunich choose. I realized when I was praying, that even though I have desires I am going to let the Lord choose what is best for me. It worked for Esther. She won the kings favor. It worked for Ruth. She won Boaz' favor. It worked for David. He won tremendous battles that seemed impossible to win. It worked for Joshua. He only had to play music and took an entire city. It worked for Ceci. She is honored and revered by her husband and us. But, most of all, it worked for Jesus. He sits as king and master of everything that is, was or ever will be.....all because of saying, "not my will, but thine be done."
Anyway, Bonnie, I hope that this letter will help you have some vision in your city of refuge. I'll sign off for now. May you feel the Lords' hand upon your life during this time. My love to you, Debbie
Debbie, I did make one comment below in red, and I'm going to post this outstanding letter of confession..... You are ordering your conversation aright and you will see the salvation of God...... that's what Mary did!!!! I remembered back on a time when I realized I never jumped over the fence of REALLY, REALLY wanting to do God's will. Hardships, trouble, all hell breaking loose, was a big benefit to REALLY wanting to jump the fence, which is what your letter is all about! IT'S OUTSTANDING, exciting, and I'm sure the Angles in heaven are rejoicing, and I pray that you are a blessing to every life you touch! We all have to come to the end of playing games with ourselves and our true inner motives. Love, Ceci
Hi Bonnie, Debbie here. Reading through your letter reminded me of a scripture that Gene gave me about a year before I left. It could have saved my life then. But, thank God He has given me chance after chance to pick things up that were not important to me at the time. It is Psalm 4:4. It says, "commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still". What Gene was trying to tell me was to be honest with myself about who I really was....commune with myself.
Then it says to be still. Stop trying to clean up the ouside of the cup, as Ceci always says. Stop doing all kinds of works to hide my shame and to try and put myself forth as someone who loved the Lord. I didn't love the Lord. I didn't care about His people. I just wanted to get my needs met, and if it meant ignoring who I really was and lying about it I was going to do that. Sadly, it caused everyone around me a lot of heartache, though. They could see who I was trying so hard to hide. So, I had to put up a fight to defend myself all of the time. I was always hiding. I didn't want to tell myself that truth, and I didn't want to give anyone else the opportunity to do so either. So, I hid from everyone. I wasn't going to take a chance on being found out. Talk about the emporer with no clothes on!!! I get it now. But, I sure thought that I was doing a good job of hiding then. If I did admit to any truth it was only because I felt like God was requiring a sacrifice from me.
I was really struck by what Linda wrote that Bob had said concerning the mens' meeting.....If Jesus stood in our midst would we start apologizing for everything our conscience condemned us in or would we just fall on our face in loving adoration and worship. I have been thinking about that a lot. That is SO deep. That is what happened to me in almost every meeting. Jesus would show up and I would start confessing everything that my conscience condemned me for. And, there was a lot, because I didn't bring anyhting to the light for help. I didn't do that because what I was hiding was that I didn't want to be a christian. I just wanted to be married and left alone to consume my husband. So, I became more and more sick because of the pretense I went to the meetings in.
The scripture asks the question about why are so many sick and weak and some sleep. Then it gives the answer....because we partake of the blood of Jesus unworthily. I was unworthy because I had no real intention of loving and serving Jesus and His people. I just wanted my husband to think good of me, so I went to meetings and pretended to be a christian.
Linda tried to talk to me about this also. But, again, I thought that she was wrong and that she was just nitpicking at me. I thought this all most all of the time and it nearly destroyed me. Not to mention the strain that she had to live with. What kind of person would I have been if I had listened and sincerely turned? What would my marriage have been like? How much heartache could I have spared so many people from? What a tragedy!!!!
Jesus would come in our midst in a meeting and I would feel compelled to give some apology for my life because I never did what Psalm 4 said. I would not lay on my bed and commune with my own heart. I spent all of my time protecting myself and my hidden agenda to consume Joe. I had no intention of living my life for Jesus and His cause. But, because I confessed my sins all of the time I decieved myself to think that I did. I would shame myself and others just about every time that I talked. It was my sacrifice for the fact that I was living my life to please me and not Jesus. It was my guilt offering.
Everything that I thought that I had overcome came back on me and more. It reminds me of the man that had been delivered from spirits but didn't fill his house. It says that the latter state of this man was worse than the first. That was me. I became more and more the way that I had been before I ever got saved. Which was being very wanton, accusing God of being cruel, not willing to meet my needs, looking to consume man and accuse and hate anyone who confonted me about it. I was pretty much given over to all of the familiars that the Lord had tried to deliver me from.
But, the Holy Spirit, through Gene had given me the answer. Psalm 4:4. I didn't take it as a pill to save my life. Look what happened. I kept hiding and lying about my condition and my whole life fell out from under me. The Lord made the way for me to come here where the only option is to commune with my own heart. There is no one else to blame. No one to try and suck the life out of. It is just me.
God had men set up cities of refuge in the old testemant. These cities were for men that had death sentences on them. They could go to cities of refuge and live there free from the threat of the death sentence. As long as they stayed in thise cities they were protected. That is sort of what the Lord did for me. I had a death sentence on me. So, the Lord opened the way for me to come here. This has been my city of refuge. It has not been pleasant here. I have been lonely and heart broken. But, it has been a time for me to commune with my own heart and get honest with myself. The difference is that I am not doomed to the city of refuge. I have come here and have been being freed by doing Psalm 4:4.
I have realized that there is no longer a death sentence on my life because of Jesus. Not just that He died for my sins, but because I have come to the place where I should have been all along...where every Christian should be...where we have all prayed to be so many times...and that is ...not my will, but Thine, Lord be done... Be it done unto me according to Thy will, oh Lord. That has taken the death sentence off of my head.
Had I been willing to do that there I would still have my marriage. Going back even farther...my sons would be serving the Lord because I would have been able to guide them. I would have been able to help them find the way to get the death sentence off of thier lives. OH, how my life would have been different if when I became a christian I would have really became a christian and signed "the contract", as we have heard Gene say so many times.
Ceci used to always tell me that I was my own sacrifice for my sins. That I put myself up on the cross instead of looking to Jesus as the one that paid my death sentence. I had to make my own sacrifices of guilt laden, shameful confessions because I was the Lord of my life. I had no real intention of changing after making these confessions. I made them merely out of guilt. I wasn't really sorry.
Linda used to talk to me about godly sorrow versus worldly sorrow. I was so sure that she was wrong about me having only worldly sorrow, not a sorrow that is sad because I hurt Jesus. I was so decieved. Maybe it was because I would not hear her that I became more and more blind. I thought I knew. After all, I was the lord of my kingdom and heart. I knew me, she didn't. I was so wrong!!!
So, week after week I would burden myself with the worries of going to another meeting and having to shame myself with another confession to ease my guilty conscience. Having to sacrifice for my own sins because I had no sacrifice from Jesus to cover me. The word says that if we do despite to the grace of God there is no longer a sacrifice for our sins. I had done despite over and over again by refusing to give my life up to the one that did die for my sins. I wanted only my own pleasure.
Now, I know that Jesus can be the sacrifice beause I am trying to die daily into His will, not mine. I am not saying that I don't struggle with different desires and different hopes, but I want very much to do things His way. I am actually afraid not to. Maybe that is what the "fear of the Lord" is. A fear that I could choose to do things my own way again. I hope and pray that the next meeting that I am in and Jesus shows up, I will be found praising, worshipping and thanking Him for His sacrifice of His life for mine. I hope that I am not found saying I am sorry for all of the things that I am still Lord of in my life. I hope that I can be found in surrender. I think that that is the key to life. Being willing to surrender my throne and my authority. I think there is a scripture that says we must lose our life to find it. (Yes there is Debbie, and it also says if you try and save your life you will lose it! That's why you couldn't help the other women in your life that were trying to save their lives..... all along, from the day that Dawn walked into your life. That's what I'm seeing, when you lose your life and receive the ones God sends it builds you up, so you are not destroyed, but the carnal man thinks just the opposite!)
I will add, that even though it has been hard for me here to be alone with my regrets, in some strange way it has been a good time. I have come to know that God is good, and what He says about carrying us through many trials is true. I used to think that He was a respecter of persons. He turned Cecis' mourning into dancing, but He wouldn't mine. How wrong I was!!! I have a favorite song that Robin Mark sings that says, "He raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the ashes". That is what He has done for me here. He has carried me through. All the Psalms are true after all!
But, I had to realize the death sentence on me. I had to come here. It was not Gods' divine will for my life to end up like this. But, even in the world there is a saying that says, "drastic times call for drastic measures".
One more thing....I was sure a short time into my time here I was ready to go back to Montana. I had learned all that I needed to learn and I was ready to be released from my city of refuge. I was sure that I had been rehabilitated enough. After a couple of emails with Gene and Ceci I realized that I wasn't "rehabilitated" at all. I was ready to go back and try and suck the life out of Joe once again. Now I only pray two things concerning my future..."Thy will be done, Lord" and "be it done unto me according to Thy will, oh Lord". I have come to realize that He sees the big picture and He knows what is best for me. All I see is what is in front of me based on desire and emotion. The way I figure it is that I have never been able to choose wisely.
I was thinking about Esther the other night. She did not give the eunich all of her desires when asked what she wanted to have before seeing the king. She let the eunich choose. I realized when I was praying, that even though I have desires I am going to let the Lord choose what is best for me. It worked for Esther. She won the kings favor. It worked for Ruth. She won Boaz' favor. It worked for David. He won tremendous battles that seemed impossible to win. It worked for Joshua. He only had to play music and took an entire city. It worked for Ceci. She is honored and revered by her husband and us. But, most of all, it worked for Jesus. He sits as king and master of everything that is, was or ever will be.....all because of saying, "not my will, but thine be done."
Anyway, Bonnie, I hope that this letter will help you have some vision in your city of refuge. I'll sign off for now. May you feel the Lords' hand upon your life during this time. My love to you, Debbie
It's who we are inwardly that matters to the Lord
My husband was discipled by Derek Prince and other "relational" men. I realized the break down of why my own father, and Episcopal priest, highly educated could never overcome sin. He ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, never did just learn how to hear from God and obey... (eat from the right tree)... hearing and doing.
Gene speaks from the heart, has a relationship with God as Paul puts it.... "he serves the Lord with his spirit". That has messed with many a drive through the Christian carwash person. (I'm sure you get what I mean). After he has given messages on walking in real faith and love, speaking the truth to one another in love, believing we are members one of another, churches have shut their doors they were so filled with darkness. The phony pastors (one was a child molester....) were brought into the light so they could repent. Gene, my husband, even confronted Jim and Tammy Bakker years ago. The offered him money then kicked him off the grounds. They didn't have ears to hear, but they were warned.
I love to write about relationships with women, "as stone rubs against a stone, so a friend sharpens the countenance of a friend." I think laying down my life for the
women who have come into it, coming face to face with my own insecurities and lack of confidence in God, and turning in faith WAS MY BLESSING, not my curse. So many people don't care enough about doing God's will in each others lives. They don't see God's purpose in His people to shake and expose their darkness, so they can be saved....
getting involved with women personally, LOOKING TO JESUS TO HELP ME with their demons, has been all a huge conversion experience for me is REALLY SEEING WHAT I WAS SAVED FROM myself. And getting understanding to the whiles of the devil. My carnal friends were God's operation to help me become spiritual. So many people never get close enough to each other to get the twig ministry The Lord wants them to have. I could really write books about "if they receive you, they receive me and receive Him who sent me."
Receiving the friends The Lord has brought into my life, all the good the bad the ugly in them, HAS BEEN EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO GET CLOSE TO JESUS myself, to remember the log in my eye, and help them with the twig in theirs. All the scholarly wisdom in the world people can seek after doesn't hold a candle to having REAL FAITH AND LOVE in the only begotton son of God to help us love, serve, not be offended and hear from Jesus for each other.
That's also why the murderer and rapist in my past could sit in pews for so many years and feel safe. So many people are indifferent and don't REALLY receive each other, they just make an outward show of affection, but inwardly they are far from the Lord and each other!
Job 38:36 Who hath put in the inward parts wisdom? Or who hath given To the covered part understanding?
Psa 51:6 Lo, truth Thou hast desired in the inward parts, And in the hidden part Wisdom Thou causest me to know.
Psa 64:6 They search out perverse things, `We perfected a searching search,' And the inward part of man, and the heart [are] deep.
Psa 103:1 By David. Bless, O my soul, Jehovah, And all my inward parts -- His Holy Name.
Jer 31:33 For this [is] the covenant that I make, With the house of Israel, after those days, An affirmation of Jehovah, I have given My law in their inward part, And on their heart I do write it, And I have been to them for God, And they are to me for a people.
Luk 11:39 And the Lord said unto him, `Now do ye, the Pharisees, the outside of the cup and of the plate make clean, but your inwardpart is full of rapine and wickedness;
Rom 7:22 for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man,
2Cr 4:16 wherefore, we faint not, but if also our outward man doth decay, yet the inward is renewed day by day;
It's who we are inwardly that matters to the Lord! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0
God Bless you, Ceci
Gene speaks from the heart, has a relationship with God as Paul puts it.... "he serves the Lord with his spirit". That has messed with many a drive through the Christian carwash person. (I'm sure you get what I mean). After he has given messages on walking in real faith and love, speaking the truth to one another in love, believing we are members one of another, churches have shut their doors they were so filled with darkness. The phony pastors (one was a child molester....) were brought into the light so they could repent. Gene, my husband, even confronted Jim and Tammy Bakker years ago. The offered him money then kicked him off the grounds. They didn't have ears to hear, but they were warned.
I love to write about relationships with women, "as stone rubs against a stone, so a friend sharpens the countenance of a friend." I think laying down my life for the
women who have come into it, coming face to face with my own insecurities and lack of confidence in God, and turning in faith WAS MY BLESSING, not my curse. So many people don't care enough about doing God's will in each others lives. They don't see God's purpose in His people to shake and expose their darkness, so they can be saved....
getting involved with women personally, LOOKING TO JESUS TO HELP ME with their demons, has been all a huge conversion experience for me is REALLY SEEING WHAT I WAS SAVED FROM myself. And getting understanding to the whiles of the devil. My carnal friends were God's operation to help me become spiritual. So many people never get close enough to each other to get the twig ministry The Lord wants them to have. I could really write books about "if they receive you, they receive me and receive Him who sent me."
Receiving the friends The Lord has brought into my life, all the good the bad the ugly in them, HAS BEEN EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO GET CLOSE TO JESUS myself, to remember the log in my eye, and help them with the twig in theirs. All the scholarly wisdom in the world people can seek after doesn't hold a candle to having REAL FAITH AND LOVE in the only begotton son of God to help us love, serve, not be offended and hear from Jesus for each other.
That's also why the murderer and rapist in my past could sit in pews for so many years and feel safe. So many people are indifferent and don't REALLY receive each other, they just make an outward show of affection, but inwardly they are far from the Lord and each other!
Job 38:36 Who hath put in the inward parts wisdom? Or who hath given To the covered part understanding?
Psa 51:6 Lo, truth Thou hast desired in the inward parts, And in the hidden part Wisdom Thou causest me to know.
Psa 64:6 They search out perverse things, `We perfected a searching search,' And the inward part of man, and the heart [are] deep.
Psa 103:1 By David. Bless, O my soul, Jehovah, And all my inward parts -- His Holy Name.
Jer 31:33 For this [is] the covenant that I make, With the house of Israel, after those days, An affirmation of Jehovah, I have given My law in their inward part, And on their heart I do write it, And I have been to them for God, And they are to me for a people.
Luk 11:39 And the Lord said unto him, `Now do ye, the Pharisees, the outside of the cup and of the plate make clean, but your inwardpart is full of rapine and wickedness;
Rom 7:22 for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man,
2Cr 4:16 wherefore, we faint not, but if also our outward man doth decay, yet the inward is renewed day by day;
It's who we are inwardly that matters to the Lord! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0
God Bless you, Ceci
Sunday, February 14, 2010
WE PASS FROM DEATH TO LIFE WHEN WE LOVE
Debbie, I hope and pray you have an anointing come on you to write about this some time! You raised your kids in this body along with others, who rejected the ones sent to them. They would not receive the kingdom of God, His operation in the ones He sent. I could have taught my children to reject people, and lived unto myself, and not entered into relationships with God or man, and KEPT MY CHILDREN from entering in too!
Matthew 23:13 (The Message)
Frauds!
13"I've had it with you! You're hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God's kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won't let anyone else in either.
Matthew 23:13 (Amplified Bible)
13But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces; for you neither enter yourselves, nor do you allow those who are about to go in to do so.
It really is a heart position. And look how many have come and gone and lost their children to the world because of "looking back" to Egypt, and living like a pillar of salt (in the body), salt in a bad way. Not the salt that preserves. When we receive each other, we receive Jesus and receive God OUR FATHER who sent Jesus. It's a mystery. People that shut each other out, are shutting out the kingdom of God and shutting the door to all those they love to be able to go to heaven with Jesus and His bride. Living in pretense while they walk with people who are trying to enter in. Shutting people out is dangerous..... not only for you, but your children, and generations to come. We have seen the demise of those who refuse to receive the ones sent to them, and we can only cry out to God on their behalf that they REPENT..... for the kingdom of God has come close to them and they rejected it. I WOULD BE LOST, HAD I NOT RECEIVED THE CONGREGATION, SO WOULD MY CHILDREN!!!
I do again hope an anointing comes on you to write about it so you can warn those who are playing around with the lives of others, not even realizing what they are doing.
Love, Ceci
I feel that the Lord sent me this email. Last nights meeting exposed where I am at. What I heard the Lord say to me through the Body is this, that I torment my husband and the family in my house with the demons that I don't judge. The demons of control , Anger and pride, That is what happened this week after the womens meeting. just because my husband wanted to add something to what I had shared with him. What was reflected is that I don't come to the meetings with an openness of being humble , I come and take what is being said and store it as knowledge and walk in pretense. I don't receive the Spirit of what is being said into my heart. I mentally store as knowledge and pull it out and use it when I need it. Joe was saying it is religion. I clean myself up just because there is a meeting , so I feel good about myself and everyone else feels good about me too. Joe said what is happening is I get the seed every saturday night and because I don't apply the word in my life and don't get understanding during the week it gets stolen. So when you wrote you refuse to enter and you won't let anyone else enter either I think of how much I have kept Tom from entering because I won;t Or even the people at work. I saw Debbie do that , and I realize I am doing that to I have never taken the log out of my eye I have judged everybody else. This is where some were at before they left. There is not a fear of God in how or what I think or speak. I see that I am without His Holy Spirit and haven't cared . After last night I see that I am so deceived and have thought that I know , but I don't see at all I am so blind and I need Jesus to lift the veil. I have not been sincere. It has all been a learned position . The Lord has come in these meetings and I have been found to be a fraud. Gal 4:9 . I have gone back to the weak and beggarly elements. I am writing this because of what you said about shutting people out I have done this the whole time I have been in this body . It has been because of pride It is time I stop running from who I am and let the Lord heal me. I don't want to end up like my parents, Lord , please Help me.
love K
And acknowledging your problem is half of the battle, just think you are half done. Do you know how many can't even do that?
I didn't want to end up like my parents. And we must be determined to break the curse, and Jesus will help us.
I can't stop thinking about "we pass from DEATH unto LIFE, when we love the brethren. And His yoke is easy, His burden is light.
The bondage of control, fear, unbelief (believing in ourselves) is very heavy!
And HOW CAN WE SAY, we love God in heaven who we DON'T SEE, when we don't love those on earth who we DO SEE?
Kay my conversion came through looking to Jesus to help me love His messed up daughters. I saw SOOOO much more clearly, my own sin. I fellowshipped Jesus in a whole new way. When I saw how bad off the women were in my life, I realized how bad off I was due to the log in my own eye, and "twig removal" became easy and joyous to me. The more I looked to love, the more joy I had. LOVE IS EASY, being hard hearted is hell on earth! The more I looked to connect with the body, be open, sincere, humble, and "IF YOU LOVE ME FEED MY SHEEP", the more converted I became, and am becoming. THERE IS A REALLY DEEP MYSTERY THERE. Those who are hidden, prideful, and insincere in their love don't "graft in".
I know the Lord will help you GRAFT IN. There is a scripture that says in Rm.7, that we are saved by the body of Christ. And when we REALLY look to receive the children God loves, and walk in love, truth and true care and ENTER INTO THAT........ WE OPEN THE DOOR FOR OTHERS TO GRAFT IN, into HIM AND HIS BODY!!!!
The Lord will be faithful to the humble and sincere. He will always resist the prideful and pretentious. This is the day the Lord has made, LET US REJOICE Kay and be GLAD IN IT! There is a secret mystery that the Lord gives to those who really want to abide in the shadow of the Almighty!
Love, Ceci
Matthew 23:13 (The Message)
Frauds!
13"I've had it with you! You're hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God's kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won't let anyone else in either.
Matthew 23:13 (Amplified Bible)
13But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces; for you neither enter yourselves, nor do you allow those who are about to go in to do so.
It really is a heart position. And look how many have come and gone and lost their children to the world because of "looking back" to Egypt, and living like a pillar of salt (in the body), salt in a bad way. Not the salt that preserves. When we receive each other, we receive Jesus and receive God OUR FATHER who sent Jesus. It's a mystery. People that shut each other out, are shutting out the kingdom of God and shutting the door to all those they love to be able to go to heaven with Jesus and His bride. Living in pretense while they walk with people who are trying to enter in. Shutting people out is dangerous..... not only for you, but your children, and generations to come. We have seen the demise of those who refuse to receive the ones sent to them, and we can only cry out to God on their behalf that they REPENT..... for the kingdom of God has come close to them and they rejected it. I WOULD BE LOST, HAD I NOT RECEIVED THE CONGREGATION, SO WOULD MY CHILDREN!!!
I do again hope an anointing comes on you to write about it so you can warn those who are playing around with the lives of others, not even realizing what they are doing.
Love, Ceci
I feel that the Lord sent me this email. Last nights meeting exposed where I am at. What I heard the Lord say to me through the Body is this, that I torment my husband and the family in my house with the demons that I don't judge. The demons of control , Anger and pride, That is what happened this week after the womens meeting. just because my husband wanted to add something to what I had shared with him. What was reflected is that I don't come to the meetings with an openness of being humble , I come and take what is being said and store it as knowledge and walk in pretense. I don't receive the Spirit of what is being said into my heart. I mentally store as knowledge and pull it out and use it when I need it. Joe was saying it is religion. I clean myself up just because there is a meeting , so I feel good about myself and everyone else feels good about me too. Joe said what is happening is I get the seed every saturday night and because I don't apply the word in my life and don't get understanding during the week it gets stolen. So when you wrote you refuse to enter and you won't let anyone else enter either I think of how much I have kept Tom from entering because I won;t Or even the people at work. I saw Debbie do that , and I realize I am doing that to I have never taken the log out of my eye I have judged everybody else. This is where some were at before they left. There is not a fear of God in how or what I think or speak. I see that I am without His Holy Spirit and haven't cared . After last night I see that I am so deceived and have thought that I know , but I don't see at all I am so blind and I need Jesus to lift the veil. I have not been sincere. It has all been a learned position . The Lord has come in these meetings and I have been found to be a fraud. Gal 4:9 . I have gone back to the weak and beggarly elements. I am writing this because of what you said about shutting people out I have done this the whole time I have been in this body . It has been because of pride It is time I stop running from who I am and let the Lord heal me. I don't want to end up like my parents, Lord , please Help me.
love K
And acknowledging your problem is half of the battle, just think you are half done. Do you know how many can't even do that?
I didn't want to end up like my parents. And we must be determined to break the curse, and Jesus will help us.
I can't stop thinking about "we pass from DEATH unto LIFE, when we love the brethren. And His yoke is easy, His burden is light.
The bondage of control, fear, unbelief (believing in ourselves) is very heavy!
And HOW CAN WE SAY, we love God in heaven who we DON'T SEE, when we don't love those on earth who we DO SEE?
Kay my conversion came through looking to Jesus to help me love His messed up daughters. I saw SOOOO much more clearly, my own sin. I fellowshipped Jesus in a whole new way. When I saw how bad off the women were in my life, I realized how bad off I was due to the log in my own eye, and "twig removal" became easy and joyous to me. The more I looked to love, the more joy I had. LOVE IS EASY, being hard hearted is hell on earth! The more I looked to connect with the body, be open, sincere, humble, and "IF YOU LOVE ME FEED MY SHEEP", the more converted I became, and am becoming. THERE IS A REALLY DEEP MYSTERY THERE. Those who are hidden, prideful, and insincere in their love don't "graft in".
I know the Lord will help you GRAFT IN. There is a scripture that says in Rm.7, that we are saved by the body of Christ. And when we REALLY look to receive the children God loves, and walk in love, truth and true care and ENTER INTO THAT........ WE OPEN THE DOOR FOR OTHERS TO GRAFT IN, into HIM AND HIS BODY!!!!
The Lord will be faithful to the humble and sincere. He will always resist the prideful and pretentious. This is the day the Lord has made, LET US REJOICE Kay and be GLAD IN IT! There is a secret mystery that the Lord gives to those who really want to abide in the shadow of the Almighty!
Love, Ceci
Saturday, February 6, 2010
the death dance of pity, vengence etc
Shan and I were talking about the "death dance" in marriages, of hard -heartedness. It's the dance couples do when THEY ARE CARNAL and not helping each other. There is a huge difference in how a virtuous woman responds to life and how a defiled conscience woman responds. The woman with the guilty conscience responds as a victim and comes under the spirit of self-pity. She's already living like her own idol, living for her own will, her own pleasure, her own benefit anyway. So when people are carnal with her, her self anointing just changes self crowns. She just takes off the self pleasure crown and puts on the self pity crown. BUT IT'S ALL SELF.
So when her husband (or anyone) is mean, angry, hard-hearted or vengeful with her~~~ she has no VIRTUE to help him, no bread from afar, no law of kindness, no understanding. So rather than help cover him (or anyone) in their position of self against her, SHE KEEPS EATING THE BREAD OF IDLENESS, self life, AND GLORY'S IN BEING A VICTIM...... (her conscience knows she deserves to be beaten anyway, so she gets sick pleasure out of others being carnal with her)
It's the "death dance" of the foolish woman. It's how I lived with Michael when I had a defiled conscience. I was full of SELF LIFE, so when he wronged me THE SELF LIFE TURNED TO THE SELF PITY PART OF SELF LIFE. And so it was with anyone who victimized me. But deep down I knew I deserved it........ so I was an active participant in the "death dance".
It wasn't until I cared AS MUCH FOR HIS SOUL AS MY OWN....... AND I WAS WILLING TO LOVE HIM AS MY OWN SOUL, my neighbor as myself......took the log out of MY EYE, and wanted to be a VIRTUOUS WOMAN, a Proverbs 31 woman, then I got my bread from afar. THE PITY ANOINTING LEFT, the guilty conscience left. I had answers to cover him and help him, and I spoke to him for loves sake, for redemption sake, to cover his soul. MY FOOD BECAME TO DO GOD'S WILL, so I got out of THE DEATH DANCE. I was no longer a victim. I lived to do God's will SO I WASN'T GUILTY ANYMORE. I didn't egg him on to beat me with his words anymore. I didn't condemn him for lust for women, while I lusted after food. I decided to try and be virtuous. Why would his heart safely trust in me? I lived for my own pleasure. It's a woman who SEEKS TO DO GOOD TO HER HUSBAND, and gives herself and her wisdom, gets answers and food from afar........ THAT'S WHEN HE BEGAN HONORING ME. And so it was, I was no longer even susuptibale to pity.............I had no room in me anymore for that demon and kept my house clean so it couldn't take up residence. KEPT MY HOUSE CLEAN BY LOOKING TO DO GOD'S WILL IN THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND ME!!!!!!
31. Mercilessness: Hard-Heartedness
When we think of the sin of mercilessness, we usually think of a hard-hearted person, that coldly refuses to listen to pleas for help from the needy. That is wrong, because it is one-sided. Mercilessness includes something else that pertains to us all: "passing by". We do not need to do anything more than pass by the needs of our neighbours. Then we are unmerciful.
Jesus shows us this clearly in His parable about the "Good Samaritan". He calls the Samaritan compassionate, because he stopped when he saw someone in need and helped him. The others, who also saw his need, simply passed by and in that moment they became unmerciful. And yet their behaviour was almost understandable. Perhaps they were expected elsewhere; perhaps they had a ministry to perform. So they hastened to reach Jericho by evening which was a day's journey away from Jerusalem. Perhaps it was shortly before nightfall. For the family's sake they could not endanger themselves. Worse things could have happened to them than to the one who lay there robbed and beaten. That is why they passed by him. They were probably not aware of the fact that this was a sin; after all, they did not cold-heartedly refuse to answer a call for help. They probably thought their obligation to get to Jericho quickly was more important than helping the robbed victim. If their conscience pricked them, they probably deceived themselves by saying that they did not have any opportunity to help in this case, because they did not have a donkey or a horse to carry the victim. So they passed him by, perhaps even a bit sad about his situation. But God had stamped them as "unmerciful".
Passing by someone who is in need! How often have we done this without realizing that God's words of judgment applied to us; "For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy" (Jas. 2: 13).
Perhaps we have never applied this terrible verdict to ourselves, because we have not realized that God was waiting for us to stop and be merciful to someone who was in need. But we passed by without taking advantage of the opportunity to help. We were unmerciful. What a shock it will be for us when we find ourselves at the judgment seat of God and hear Him pronounce the sentence of the unmerciful over us, "Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matt. 25: 41).
Who will be sentenced to eternal fire? Those who did not take in the strangers, care for the sick, visit the prisoners, feed the hungry-those who do not lovingly help their neighbours.
But Jesus has come so that we do not have to remain in sin and be damned with the world. He wants to remould us into His merciful image and let us come into His kingdom. Because Jesus loves us, He does not want us to be sent to hell because we were unmerciful. We must listen to His warning "Be alert!" Just because we have not rejected any requests, we cannot be sure that this judgment will not strike us! Every day we must entreat God to convict us of our sin of mercilessness in our daily life: "Show me, Lord, when I am about to pass by a person in need, either physically or otherwise. Let me see when my self-will is the reason, because I do not want others to frustrate my plans and intentions. Or show me where I do not have loving eyes for the needs of others, because I am so involved in my ego." Only those who ask will receive. Let us fight an intensive battle of prayer for mercifulness. Our fate in eternity depends upon this.
But this daily prayer is not enough. The good Samaritan not only had a merciful heart which could feel the needs of the other, but he was also willing to make a sacrifice for the needy. We have to commit ourselves to making sacrifices for our neighbour, for genuine mercy can only be practised when a sacrifice is included. The Samaritan sacrificed his safety; it could have cost him his life, to stay by the wounded man if the robbers had come back again. But we do not always have to risk our lives to be merciful. Sometimes it is just a very small thing that is expected from us, like giving money. Or perhaps, during times of scarcity, we ought to give others something to eat, something to wear or a place to sleep even though we ourselves may have next to nothing. And how often does a small sacrifice of mercy simply mean giving others of our time? How often have we already become guilty in these matters?
Everything depends upon taking Jesus' exhortation seriously, "Be merciful!" I wonder, do we live according to the standards by which we will be judged by one day? "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful (Luke 6: 36). That means, for example, that we have to take the parable of the unmerciful servant seriously and apply it to our lives. The unmerciful servant was not merciful towards his fellow servant who was indebted to him. He did not see that since God was merciful to him and forgave him he was now bound to do the same. God is expecting us to be filled with mercy when others sin against us. He does not want us to keep account of their sin, but to forgive them mercifully.
Being unmerciful and not being able to forgive can one day cost us our lives and our inheritance in the kingdom of heaven. For Jesus says that the unmerciful servant, and all who follow his example, will be "delivered to the jailers", that means, they will be in Satan's kingdom. The Apostle Paul adds: "Those who do such things deserve to die" (Rom. 1: 31f). We deceive ourselves when we pretend that passing by others, or not being able to forgive, is something harmless. Jesus' words are true and we will be judged according to what He said. But by mercifulness we do not mean tolerating sin and no longer being willing in humble love to help others see their sin. If we neglect to do this, we will also become unmerciful, but in another sense, and this will also bring judgment down upon us.
If we repent of our lack of mercy and bring it under the blood of Jesus, we will also be compelled to go to those to whom we were unmerciful and seek to make amends by being especially loving and helpful towards them. Or if we can no longer reach them, we will bestow this kindness on others. Then the guilt of mercilessness will be blotted out in the blood of the Lamb for time and eternity.
So Jesus' words, "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful", should not make us discouraged and despondent, when it seems as though our hard hearts, which continually pass by the needs of others, will never be made merciful. We must believe Jesus when He says, "What is impossible with men is possible with God" (Luke 18: 27). With God everything is possible, for He is almighty. In Jesus there is redemption from all sins, even from mercilessness, for He has paid the full ransom price for our sins. We have been redeemed to be merciful. Whoever claims this in faith, ever anew, will find that he is changed into God's image of mercy, from one degree of glory to another and one day he will enter the Kingdom of God, the kingdom of love and mercy.
So when her husband (or anyone) is mean, angry, hard-hearted or vengeful with her~~~ she has no VIRTUE to help him, no bread from afar, no law of kindness, no understanding. So rather than help cover him (or anyone) in their position of self against her, SHE KEEPS EATING THE BREAD OF IDLENESS, self life, AND GLORY'S IN BEING A VICTIM...... (her conscience knows she deserves to be beaten anyway, so she gets sick pleasure out of others being carnal with her)
It's the "death dance" of the foolish woman. It's how I lived with Michael when I had a defiled conscience. I was full of SELF LIFE, so when he wronged me THE SELF LIFE TURNED TO THE SELF PITY PART OF SELF LIFE. And so it was with anyone who victimized me. But deep down I knew I deserved it........ so I was an active participant in the "death dance".
It wasn't until I cared AS MUCH FOR HIS SOUL AS MY OWN....... AND I WAS WILLING TO LOVE HIM AS MY OWN SOUL, my neighbor as myself......took the log out of MY EYE, and wanted to be a VIRTUOUS WOMAN, a Proverbs 31 woman, then I got my bread from afar. THE PITY ANOINTING LEFT, the guilty conscience left. I had answers to cover him and help him, and I spoke to him for loves sake, for redemption sake, to cover his soul. MY FOOD BECAME TO DO GOD'S WILL, so I got out of THE DEATH DANCE. I was no longer a victim. I lived to do God's will SO I WASN'T GUILTY ANYMORE. I didn't egg him on to beat me with his words anymore. I didn't condemn him for lust for women, while I lusted after food. I decided to try and be virtuous. Why would his heart safely trust in me? I lived for my own pleasure. It's a woman who SEEKS TO DO GOOD TO HER HUSBAND, and gives herself and her wisdom, gets answers and food from afar........ THAT'S WHEN HE BEGAN HONORING ME. And so it was, I was no longer even susuptibale to pity.............I had no room in me anymore for that demon and kept my house clean so it couldn't take up residence. KEPT MY HOUSE CLEAN BY LOOKING TO DO GOD'S WILL IN THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND ME!!!!!!
31. Mercilessness: Hard-Heartedness
When we think of the sin of mercilessness, we usually think of a hard-hearted person, that coldly refuses to listen to pleas for help from the needy. That is wrong, because it is one-sided. Mercilessness includes something else that pertains to us all: "passing by". We do not need to do anything more than pass by the needs of our neighbours. Then we are unmerciful.
Jesus shows us this clearly in His parable about the "Good Samaritan". He calls the Samaritan compassionate, because he stopped when he saw someone in need and helped him. The others, who also saw his need, simply passed by and in that moment they became unmerciful. And yet their behaviour was almost understandable. Perhaps they were expected elsewhere; perhaps they had a ministry to perform. So they hastened to reach Jericho by evening which was a day's journey away from Jerusalem. Perhaps it was shortly before nightfall. For the family's sake they could not endanger themselves. Worse things could have happened to them than to the one who lay there robbed and beaten. That is why they passed by him. They were probably not aware of the fact that this was a sin; after all, they did not cold-heartedly refuse to answer a call for help. They probably thought their obligation to get to Jericho quickly was more important than helping the robbed victim. If their conscience pricked them, they probably deceived themselves by saying that they did not have any opportunity to help in this case, because they did not have a donkey or a horse to carry the victim. So they passed him by, perhaps even a bit sad about his situation. But God had stamped them as "unmerciful".
Passing by someone who is in need! How often have we done this without realizing that God's words of judgment applied to us; "For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy" (Jas. 2: 13).
Perhaps we have never applied this terrible verdict to ourselves, because we have not realized that God was waiting for us to stop and be merciful to someone who was in need. But we passed by without taking advantage of the opportunity to help. We were unmerciful. What a shock it will be for us when we find ourselves at the judgment seat of God and hear Him pronounce the sentence of the unmerciful over us, "Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matt. 25: 41).
Who will be sentenced to eternal fire? Those who did not take in the strangers, care for the sick, visit the prisoners, feed the hungry-those who do not lovingly help their neighbours.
But Jesus has come so that we do not have to remain in sin and be damned with the world. He wants to remould us into His merciful image and let us come into His kingdom. Because Jesus loves us, He does not want us to be sent to hell because we were unmerciful. We must listen to His warning "Be alert!" Just because we have not rejected any requests, we cannot be sure that this judgment will not strike us! Every day we must entreat God to convict us of our sin of mercilessness in our daily life: "Show me, Lord, when I am about to pass by a person in need, either physically or otherwise. Let me see when my self-will is the reason, because I do not want others to frustrate my plans and intentions. Or show me where I do not have loving eyes for the needs of others, because I am so involved in my ego." Only those who ask will receive. Let us fight an intensive battle of prayer for mercifulness. Our fate in eternity depends upon this.
But this daily prayer is not enough. The good Samaritan not only had a merciful heart which could feel the needs of the other, but he was also willing to make a sacrifice for the needy. We have to commit ourselves to making sacrifices for our neighbour, for genuine mercy can only be practised when a sacrifice is included. The Samaritan sacrificed his safety; it could have cost him his life, to stay by the wounded man if the robbers had come back again. But we do not always have to risk our lives to be merciful. Sometimes it is just a very small thing that is expected from us, like giving money. Or perhaps, during times of scarcity, we ought to give others something to eat, something to wear or a place to sleep even though we ourselves may have next to nothing. And how often does a small sacrifice of mercy simply mean giving others of our time? How often have we already become guilty in these matters?
Everything depends upon taking Jesus' exhortation seriously, "Be merciful!" I wonder, do we live according to the standards by which we will be judged by one day? "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful (Luke 6: 36). That means, for example, that we have to take the parable of the unmerciful servant seriously and apply it to our lives. The unmerciful servant was not merciful towards his fellow servant who was indebted to him. He did not see that since God was merciful to him and forgave him he was now bound to do the same. God is expecting us to be filled with mercy when others sin against us. He does not want us to keep account of their sin, but to forgive them mercifully.
Being unmerciful and not being able to forgive can one day cost us our lives and our inheritance in the kingdom of heaven. For Jesus says that the unmerciful servant, and all who follow his example, will be "delivered to the jailers", that means, they will be in Satan's kingdom. The Apostle Paul adds: "Those who do such things deserve to die" (Rom. 1: 31f). We deceive ourselves when we pretend that passing by others, or not being able to forgive, is something harmless. Jesus' words are true and we will be judged according to what He said. But by mercifulness we do not mean tolerating sin and no longer being willing in humble love to help others see their sin. If we neglect to do this, we will also become unmerciful, but in another sense, and this will also bring judgment down upon us.
If we repent of our lack of mercy and bring it under the blood of Jesus, we will also be compelled to go to those to whom we were unmerciful and seek to make amends by being especially loving and helpful towards them. Or if we can no longer reach them, we will bestow this kindness on others. Then the guilt of mercilessness will be blotted out in the blood of the Lamb for time and eternity.
So Jesus' words, "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful", should not make us discouraged and despondent, when it seems as though our hard hearts, which continually pass by the needs of others, will never be made merciful. We must believe Jesus when He says, "What is impossible with men is possible with God" (Luke 18: 27). With God everything is possible, for He is almighty. In Jesus there is redemption from all sins, even from mercilessness, for He has paid the full ransom price for our sins. We have been redeemed to be merciful. Whoever claims this in faith, ever anew, will find that he is changed into God's image of mercy, from one degree of glory to another and one day he will enter the Kingdom of God, the kingdom of love and mercy.
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