how to have a good marriage

WHY I HAVE SUCH A GOOD MARRIAGE .....The Lord will show you how to be a repairer of breeches, and a blessed peacemaker!

WHY I HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE AFTER 13 (23) YEARS OF LIFE WITH MY HUSBAND...............I HAVE A SMALL
VISION FOR WHERE JESUS WANTS TO TAKE THE CHURCH!!

How does passion and unity continue to get better? Well I had some thoughts on the subject today! I got a letter from a friend this morning, which made me start thinking of Ps.133. "Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It's like precious ointment.....it's like
the dew on the mountains.....there has the Lord commanded the blessing! It made me start thinking of my good marriage, and why other's aren't so good, and why there is such dis-unity in the church.

Then I read part of David Wilkerson's newest letter to the church called "Satan seeks to devour you." He specifically addresses marriages under attack! Lives under attack. I thought of the scripture in Ecc. "The little foxes spoil the vine." It made me realize why love and passion is ever increasing in my own marriage..........BECAUSE WE GO AFTER, AND DEAL WITH THE "LITTLE FOXES!" Many married people don't even see the whiles
of the devil to destroy them and their relationships. I know that after years of marriage, the offences, criticisms, accusations, divisions
(demiliatrized zones) cause people to build walls against one another. So instead of becoming closer, they become worlds apart....I want to say
DEMONS APART.....DEMONIC STRONGHOLDS set in, and passion and love are out the window! We need to learn to put on love rather than pride.
To put on honesty, sincerity, and have the law of kindness in our mouths.

Rm. 12:5 "So we being many are one body in Christ, and everyone members of one another". 1 Cor.10:17 "for we being many are ONE BREAD, and
one body, for we are all partakers of that one bread." 1Cor.1:10 "Now I beseech you , brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be NO DIVISIONS AMONG YOU, but that you be perfectly joined together......in the same mind, and in the same judgment! THIS MAY BE EXTREMELY HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE, BUT I ACTUALLY LIVE WITH A MAN IN A "SPIRIT OF UNITY!" We fight for unity,
and to make sure there are no divisions between us! We deal with, kill, the "little foxes" that come to spoil our
relationship! Rather than being offended, we look to feed each other with understanding when there are problems. We seek the Lord, and humble ourselves to one another in the fear of the Lord. And we walk in this same spirit with the christians we relate to.

2 Co.13:11 "Finally, brethren, Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace, and the God of love and peace shall be with you.
Ep. 4:3 "Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ph.1:27 "only let you conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ,
that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel." 1Pet.3:8 "Be you all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous." In Phil. 4:2 Paul beseeches two of his loved ones to be of the same mind. Col. 2:2 "That their hearts might BE COMFORTED, being knit together in LOVE, and
unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding to the acknowledgment of the MYSTERY OF GOD, and of the Father, and of Christ."

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE MET, WHO DON'T EVEN BELIEVE UNITY IS EVEN POSSIBLE? They don't even have faith in what God say's
in His word or what He promises to do for those who love Him. He stands behind women who are looking to love and do God's will in their husbands lives. And a woman of God has faith that God will deal with her husband if he refuses her kind words. She doesn't look to beat him into submission,
she knows and trusts in God's love and intentions for their marriage. Many marriages get familiar with.........DISUNITY, STRIFE and they take on an unbelieving spirit that refuses to think unity is possible! When you loose a bad spirit into your marriage, contrary to love and faith, do you think it will sprout? If you loose love and faith, and have hope against hope, don't you think the God of all the Heaven's and earth is able to stand behind His Sprit? That's the spirit, the food you should be feeding your family. You need to think about what table you are eating from, the devils or God's?
For the bread, your words are life or death. If your mouth is an open grave, and everyone that EATS of the bread, the reaping will not be good! If
you fling forth evil things how can you hope good to come from it?

I have to say here, There were many things that divided my husband and I when I first met him. And the first few years of our relationship were not
really easy, because I doubted God and him, and didn't really know His heart towards me, or the Lord's to help us. He had more faith and trust in
the Lord regarding me, while I was the despairing unbeliever, because I was offended and unhealed regarding men in general. I let the little foxes in
the door all the time and was a bit slow in chasing them back out the door. (contrary thoughts against him, merciless thoughts, where I didn't have much mercy in what I thought he was doing wrong. I hadn't removed the log from my eye to help remove the twig in his. I had gotten to the place in my life, where I was not content to live with DIVISIONS, and in a spirit of DISUNITY. I had lived in pretense too long in my past, and it had cost me
too much. I crossed over a line before I ever met my husband, that I would FIGHT FOR UNITY! There is NO COMFORT, when you have to live in a house divided among itself. When you have to hide, lie and pretend, and play God for someone who doesn't have a grip on their emotions. I decided I wasn't going to play God anymore. I was going to live honestly, and let the chips fall where they may, and let God be God. I got to the place when I met my husband, that I was going to be honest, sincere, speak the truth in love, and I WAS WILLING TO PUT THE RELATIONSHIP ON THE LINE FOR
THE SAKE OF TRUTH! I wasn't going to hide, lie, and,only give "most of my heart", not "ALL OF MY HEART."

I heard a man talking about Ananias and Sapphira, and the principal of "holding back."
Whenever I have chosen to "hold back", a portion of my heart from my husband........not loving him with all my heart, mind and strength, not being open with him about my thoughts and emotions, it has brought DIVISION INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP! I know when I have done this, it's been a reflection of not loving the Lord with all my heart, mind, and strength. When I'm open and honest with Our Father, he helps me to be open and
honest with my husband.

How to keep the devil from getting ground in our lives. 1. By not forsaking the assembling, but exhorting one another. I see that when we do assemble, whether it be with our husband, or fellow Christian's, if we are half-hearted, we lie, are insincere, pretentious, content to be divided and are not hearing from God and speaking the truth in love.......UNITY ISN'T THERE! God is a spirit of truth and His spirit visits those walking in the light. He doesn't fellowship deceit....the father of lies.

2. Forgiveness.....THE BIG TEMPTATION, Jesus refers to in the Lords Prayer. "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive others......lead us not into the temptation of being unforgiving......DELIVER US FROM THIS GREAT EVIL! If we have a forgiving spirit, we can tell the truth in the right spirit, without sounding self-righteous.

3. If you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, GLORY NOT....(how many people get familiar with running on STRIFE GAS). Strife is part of lying, and pretense. .where strife is so familiar, they cant' even tell they are striving? They loose a bad spirit on the earth and don't even care.
DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF....when your in strife. The devil will start talking to you....tickling your senses! It creates all kinds of confusion and evil
work! Blessed are the PEACE MAKERS, NOT THE STRIFE MAKERS!!!!

So......If 1 Cor. 10:17 is REALLY TRUE...."for we being many are ONE BREAD"????? What kind of bread are you?? What kind of bread is your marriage?? How about the Christians you walk with?? I remember speaking to a woman several years ago who was asking me what kind of church she should go
to back in Wisconsin where she lived. I said to her, "what ever you do, look very closely at the pastor and his wife. Ask yourself, do they walk in a spirit of faith, love, and unity? Can they work through their own problems, and do they share testimony about how the Lord helps them work through their divisions, so they can help other's too? See what ingredients are in their bread (spiritually speaking). Are they open, honest, do they lie, hide
and pretend like they have it all together? Are they willing to share the battles of their relationship and how Jesus helps them, in an honest, open transparent spirit? Do you hear the TESTIMONY OF JESUS in how they work through their divisions, evil imaginations, accusations, and how The Lord has helped them fight for unity and love? BECAUSE........if they don't do it with each other......they won't CONTAIN a spirit to help the children of
God do it either! Is there bread full of artificial ingredients?"

One thing many of my friends and I have in common is, "we didn't grow up in Christian families, where we heard and witnessed how Jesus helped our parents work through the battles of life. How they dealt with the "little foxes" that spoiled the vine. Most of us saw people who lived a passionless, pretentious, divided life, where they hid from each other. "Hide not yourself from your own flesh", it says in Isaiah. I
decided early on, I was not going to hide from my husband......I was not going to hide anymore from the Lord. I wasn't going to be a with-holder
and settle for a passionless, dark, deceitful way of life. There are times I wondered if my husband would throw me in the gutter for being honest,
but I knew if I really loved him, how could I hold divisions in my heart against him? I went to him (not always, but I try to) in a spirit of honesty, sincerity, humility, and faith because I love him. When I question his integrity, I tell him, because I love him. Our children....and God's children have gotten to benefit from our divisions, and hear how we dealt with them. WE ENDED UP BE AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS WHO NEVER HAD PARENTS WHO WOULD BE REAL, HONEST, AND FEED THEM WITH UNDERSTANDING TO HOW JESUS HELPED THEM WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.


We FIGHT NOT TO LET THE BREAD (OUR RELATIONSHIP) get moldy. Beware of the leaven of the Pharisee's whichis hypocrisy! We don't practice hypocrisy with each other. And because I'm willing, and He's taught me to walk in a spirit of LOVING THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART, MIND AND STRENGTH, I can love other's the way I have been loved. AND KEEP PRESSING ON TO BE BETTER EACH DAY! The love and passion in our lives is
ever increasing instead of decreasing like the couples in the world. Isn't that how we should live as the body Of Christ too? I pray that the spirit of love, faith, and truth? What Jesus has given my husband and I would is a precious gift we can impart to all our friends. So they will want to follow
our example..... That the world could see Jesus lives by the way they love each other!

Jesus prayed in John 17......that we would be sanctified by the truth of His Word. He SANCTIFIED himself unto the truth, that we might be sanctified
unto the truth.....He prayed for ALL THOSE WHO WOULD BELIEVE ON HIM, BECAUSE OF THE WORDS OF OTHERS! DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR HUSBAND COULD COME TO BELIEVE MORE IN JESUS BY THE WORDS YOU SPEAK TO HIM???? Jesus PRAYED THAT WE WOULD ALL BE ONE!! As He is in the Father and the Father IN Him, THAT WE WOULD BE ONE.......IN HIM! That the world would see and believe in Him by the love we have
one for another!

His prayer was that we would all be one in Him......and though we might be far from it, we all will be one in heaven, and we can do our best to fight
for the unity of the faith on the earth! (Why not take on faith to deal with the dis-unity here on the earth.) It's all going to be seen and known for what it is one day anyway, don't you want to be on God's side when the dust settles? YOU ARE CALLED TO BE A PEACE MAKER, so TAKE ON FAITH,
to do God's will in ALL THE LIVES WHICH YOU TOUCH!! Don't be indifferent to the divisions in your heart towards your husband. Life isn't about
you, it's about you making it your food to do God's will. I don't want Jesus to have to straighten out my problems for me when we see Him face to face, because I was a fainting, indifferent, give up, complaining girl. The scripture we had put on our wedding cake said......."We pray that the
world would SEE AND BELIEVE THAT JESUS LIVES BY THE WAY.......WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER!! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE WORLD, AND ESPECIALLY YOUR CHILDREN SEEING AND BELIEVING THAT JESUS LIVES BECAUSE THE WAY YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND AND THEM!